(1 dance | sippy sippy) trying this one more time [14 Apr 2004|12:30pm] After a long day of class I have decided to make another attempt. So i went to the psychologist today and received the results from the strong interest test i took last week and surprise surprise, my strong interests just happen to be in the 2 fields that I'd never thought I would go into (dentistry--grossness, and pharmacy--boredom). What luck I have right? Who the hell wants to pull teeth and examine people's disgusting mouths for a living? Apparently the next choice is becoming an audiologist. What is that exactly? an ear doctor? So I left the office more confused than ever, instead of helping me decide between the occupations I though I was interested in, I received suggestions to pursue something totally opposite! Now what? Well I have 2 more classes tonight and I need to get some work done ato help accomplish my unknown goal. ~OLGA

(sippy sippy) beauuuuutiiiiful! [25 Mar 2004|06:29pm] [ mood | devious ] Oh I see your scars I know where they're from So sensually carved and bleeding until you're dead and gone I've seen it all before beauty and splendour torn It's when heaven turns to black and hell to white Right so wrong and wrong so right Now Feel it turning your heart into stone Feel it piercing your courageous soul Beyond now - redemption No one's gonna catch you when you fall Oh I see you crawl you can barely walk With arms wide open you keep on begging for more I've been there before knocking on the same door It's when hate turns to love and love to hate Faith to doubt and doubt to faith wow i love music <3

(sippy sippy) looooooove [07 Mar 2004|10:27pm] new journal: liipglosnletdwn. add it <3

(2 dances | sippy sippy) wooooo [29 Dec 2003|10:40pm] long time no update (again) spyyyyyy me gusta this new background yay for closed toed shoe missions downtown with megs and yay for music and playlists and singing along and not caring that i dont have a voice :) bye

(sippy sippy) woooooo [16 Dec 2003|05:17pm] hey lj world its been far too long.. got the internet fixed this morning.. made some damn good fudge last night with gene and olga.. and ive been dutifully crafting wonderful krismas gifts hmm i miss the chapman kids but its sooo nice to not have to do anything lauren has a game tomorrow, so unfortunately that means i will have to come out of hermitude and go i thoroughly enjoy making scarves, and have recruited krysta and olga to my latest obsession.. hmm yea thats about it.. gonna get back to crocheting, love jew world <3

(sippy sippy) on the home stretch [10 Dec 2003|05:30pm] four finals down, last one tomorrow beginning at 8am.. i have to force myself to do the last two assignments of the semester tonight. its sad to leave, but will be a good break.. i need to go to washington this break, like its necessary. yea ok gonna pretend to work now. <3

(1 dance | sippy sippy) beep beep beep beep beep beep beep [07 Dec 2003|12:52am] [ mood | cranky ] ok guys heres the deal. im done stressing out about this break and needing a job/money cuz my parents apparently have money to burn. i get this phone call from lauren today telling me about how they are at the store buying a home gym and treadmill.. ummm they dont work out, have actual gym memberships and dont go, and can easily walk or run in the neighborhood. i informed them that if they have money to just throw away feel free to throw some my way. rah i was pissed. so i picked out some kristmas presents for myself including a cute burberry bag i know i wont get.. but hey- a girl can dream, right? so im fucken tired yet i dont feel quite ready to sleep until ive written in one of my neglected journals.. yea i hallucinated this morning that there were 3 boys in jens bed and not just one.. like i honestly thought there were 2 other boys taht got up and left and i remember saying bye and jen laughing and wow.. apparently it was a dream? thats what happens when you get home at 430 to wake up at 8 to the lovely sounds of laughter and making out.. yay for trying to sleep on the closet floor to drown out the sounds. went through the old mix cds and heard some good old songs nearly forgotten about, i need more music in my life here so jen found someone else to live with next semester.. looks like its just gonna be anz and i :) yeaaaa good times in 439.. and its better now that we dont hate each other, its only an issue of us all wanting more space, and we didnt force her out, so i feel good about the decision ok its about one now.. time for bed i suppose i still feel sick, and i have gained weight and this has got to change soon. :( kbye

(1 dance | sippy sippy) santa baby [05 Dec 2003|03:27pm] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | eartha kitt and rah digga ] i beat that bitch with a bat woooooo aunt est is 21 and i am excited for tonight the best roommate in the world and i just had a 98 cents store adventure, saw vargas at stater bros, yea BRO got some no-spill sippy cups :) and some guns.. we mean business gotta go shopping with carrie soon, excited :) yea marilyn manson- tainted love some times i feel ive got to run away ok byeeeeeee <3

(7 dances | sippy sippy) my milkshake says you suck [03 Dec 2003|08:39pm] get ready world cuz i have got some things to say tonight first of all, i am a bit curious to know why chapman university has attendance policies similar to helix high school. everything you learn is read in the books. the "professors" do nothing but profess their obscure knowledge of things not relevant to anything you will ever need, want, or care to know. my fucken kidneys are destroyed and i drag my nauseous, weak self out of the depths of my dorm room, stagger over to class to sit there for 50 minutes as we discuss shakira in my spanish 101 class. what gives? could i not have learned the same amount asleep in my bed? secondly, why does phi sig make everything required and everyone held accountable, when they could put the same efforts into making things enjoyable.. its like hey we arent cool enough that you'd WANT to hang out, but we'll be damn sure we make you. so, again, i drag myself from the bed where ive been since sunday to go "study" aka be annoyed and feel sicker with some "sisters" as they discuss how dirty their feet are. yum, dirty feet. and im sure you're wondering the purpose in my attendance (as i, too, often wonder).. and oh yea, its so i dont get sent to be "judged" by some bitch on a power trip. yea i said it, what of it? another thing- as i was trying to study in the privacy of my own room, and enjoy some background music, some broad comes on the radio singing about her milkshake and the yard. is she an extremely skilled frosty maker at wendys? no, because she wouldnt be singing about the yard.. what exactly is her milkshake, and more importantly what is her malfunction. so today this teeny bopper comes bouncing up to our door and from first knock i knew it was trouble. she opens the door and asks us where a girl lives. what is her name, we inquire. and the idiot doesnt know. well what does she look like? no knowledge yet again. we do have one clue though, that she might be in our roommate's english class (who wasn't present at the time) and when we informed her that she had not, in fact reached the psychic girl's room, she said ok and bounced away. i was left to speechless. all i had was my face expressing "what THEEE fuck just happened" off topic, but im sick of people making excuses for what they do. if you fuck up, its because you did it, its not because "its how you were raised" or because youre hungry or your eyelashes arent very long. its because you made the damn choice. i'm all for doing what you want to do, and doing what you gotta do, but with that comes the need for people to not be so damn weak and be able to stand up for themselves, back their decisions up, and not fucken pretend they were forced into the situation they voluntarily chose. like people who say "oh, i have no money, buy me things" why the fuck is it someone else's responsiblity to bust their butt to support your lazy ass? maybe you even have a job but spend your money on stupid shit.. what makes it someone else's job to spend their money for more shit you dont need.. and when theyre nice enough to, you dont find it necessary to repay? even if you can't do it monetarily, come on people. reciprocity anyone? something is very wrong in the thinking methods of a lot of people. see, ive built up a lot of anger in the past few days of bedrest, and i'm saying. i dont give a shit if you get upset.. do you care that im upset? no. no one gives a shit. i dont feel its necessary to pretend everythings ok and smooth things over when its really not. no more generic answers. no more "im fine" when im fucken not. how about that, world, how about THAT?

(1 dance | sippy sippy) bbbblah [03 Dec 2003|09:11am] so this is what dying feels like? omfg gonna pass out again

(sippy sippy) sweet misery you cause me [02 Dec 2003|04:43pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | the clock ticking away to my death ] so after the ER fiasco yesterday, i have spent basically my entire day in bed feeling ill and telling myself that death would be a blessing.. i am, however, slightly better (although not well) and would tell someone they were lying to me if they said there was a light at the end of the tunnel now hopefully round 3 of medication tonight wont make me worse again :/ screw you kidneys yea i missed work and one class today, but i still look responsible cuz i dragged myself in there and they reccommended i go sleep.. yea i seriously have been in bed for 22 of the last 24 hours, and i think ill live this way forever BLAHHH the only thing is i am sick of my music now, and the internet is too damn slow here :/ bye kids, more soon.. leave me notes of hope and love <3

(3 dances | sippy sippy) ER like the show [01 Dec 2003|04:34pm] well hello world i survived my long day in the er hearing the dr tell me about his crazy times in tj, the nurse telling me how she evaded pelvic exams and then they made her have more.. and yea not a good time had by all, i want my 5 1/2 hours back!! feeling pretty drugged up at the moment..it might be time for bed soon yea childhood problems causing recurring sickness.. i feel like death but at least i got the friday night problems taken care of, as well as my ridiculous sickness i now get to deal with yea seans my hero for picking me up from hell aka kaiser permanente.. and midgey took me there and i heart them <3 feeling woozy time for snoozy hahahhaha <3

(1 dance | sippy sippy) if you fall down enough well soon enough you will find help [29 Nov 2003|07:39pm] [ mood | ashamed, disgusted, annoyed ] [ music | alk3 ] so i woke up this morning to the familiar, "oh shit how did i get home and what else dont i remember" feeling.. turns out there are lots of things i dont remember, and its fucken horrible i am so thoroughly and completely disgusted with myself.. what is it honestly going to take for me to make better choices and care about myself? BLAHHHHHH i am so sorry beana midge anz krysta and anybody else :( poor beanas car, poor shoes i wear every fucken day :( im gonna hire a hit man on myself with directions such as the following, shiiiiit Step one -- slit my throat Step two -- play in my blood Step three -- cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house Step four -- stop off at Edgebrook Creek and rinse those crimson hands aside from last night's mishaps, however, break was largely enjoyable.. wednesday was hodge day/hodge and meagan night of hookah chasing as detailed in my melo, thursday was good food day and catching up with the cousins who are cooler than i suspected.. yesterday was random beana shopping, krystas birthday dinner and the te jota excursion.. today i awoke to find vomit-covered clothing, along with my roommate and midge sleeping at my house.. lounging and laziness occurred, followed by a brief adventure to parkway, beef n bun, and trying to find carries.. i havent really accomplished much since then - circa 2pm- as i am barely functioning.. spoke with beana and became even more disgusted with myself, and that leaves me in this current state of misery.. i wanna sleep until kristmas :( bye

(11 dances | sippy sippy) a sorta fairytale [25 Nov 2003|01:04am] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | alk3- hell yes ] so i fucked up apparently.. my roommate and big sis were really upset when i got back.. bbbbbbbblah ill outline my day anyways.. went to class, then hodge said she wanted to go to see alk3 tonight, and i had been really disappointed in knowing i missed it, so i decided to head on down.. had a nice day of grandma hodge and fam mart, decided it would be fun to meet up with morgan at the show, since she really wanted to go we were getting ready to leave and got a call from morgan hurrying us down there cuz we had picked up a ticket for her.. got there before any of the bands were even set up, prepared to sit around.. walk up and she was obviously inconvenienced by waiting for us, says "do you have my ticket," turns and walks inside, we say you should have waited outside for us cuz i wanted to show her some chapman stuff, but she replies with "no im not like you guys" then walks over to her friends, turns her back to us, and says ill be back- we never spoke to her again no hello, no hi, not a simple how's life? no appreciation whatsoever for the generous gift just given to you? and what may i ask did you mean by "like you guys"... you mean considerate of other people's feelings? how about our own actions? if we would have dressed up in "scene" costume, aka worn an old black tshirt with jeans and converse shoes maybe we would have been cool enough to acknowledge.. oh wait you gotta have black hair and smudged makeup too.. i dont know who these people think they're kidding, and i am quite frankly not in the mood to censor this or give a damn what you people think. why do these so-called "punk rock" kids have such a fucken bad attitude.. why do i have to dress up in awkward outfits and get a huge attitude toward other people in order to listen to music.. oh yea i dont, and i still appreciate it.. its not a like a fucken halloween costume party where if you dont dress up the candy wont taste as good or some shit as hodge and i discussed, its doubtful these people know anything about music other than who screams to a faster or slower beat.. aside from the typical annoyances i had forgotten about, the show was really enjoyable.. alkaline trio was excellent.. reggie was a disappointment in my book.. and of course it was good to spend time with the old best friend alkaline trio, hmm pay attention to the lyrics and you will quickly recognize that many of their songs (in fact a large majority) refer at least indirectly to alcohol.. fyi sweetheart we were far from drunk, but if we were- who are you to judge? speaking of drunk, sorry roommate/big sis.. for making you worry, i was fine and i love you both, im sorry you didnt know :( life is just weird.. i have more and more reasons to be happy but something isnt right with me.. been thinking a lot lately, i should stop that

(sippy sippy) yeeeeeeaaaaaa [22 Nov 2003|05:29pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | wilson phillips- hold on ] so yesterday, immediately following la clase de espanol, i headed down to sweet home san diego.. went to pick up the blother but his bus was late so i kidnapped my sister from school [what a bad influence i am] and got my hair cut by my favorite lady [yea kathy koehler!!!] and then beana and krysta BOTH came over and we went to olive garden [i had some of their amazing pumpkin cheesecake].. following that rendevous i headed back to the house, got my sis from soccer and visited some of the old team, got the grandmas, and went to meet olga at fascist valley.. after a long wait we finally ate at cpk, then i got some rad shoes from ann taylor [yea business woman] and headed home.. alex hodge :) met me there and we took a trip down memory lane.. went to la jolla and made my withdrawls momentarily subside, all our memory songs played and it was weird.. [happy nippleversary by the way] so this morning i rushed home all dressed up for initiation which of course started late, and i acquired some new nightmare material [do the words CROTCH SHOT ring a bell???] yea beatness.. so aside from yet another hospital adventure with the roommate, ive basically been lazy all afternoon, just had some taco bell, ready for another nap.. yea laziness.. i should really study but i just open the book and fall asleep.. yea sleep enhancement.. i cant wait till this 2 day week is over so i can sleep and be at home.. its weird.. i guess the chapman kids are coming down to san diego post-turkey day.. excitinggg :) ok i guess ill sleep more while anz writes her paper.. night kiddos

(2 dances | sippy sippy) procrastination nation [20 Nov 2003|07:38pm] yea so i have mucho tarea para la clase de espanol, but i thought it more fitting to come on lj and waste some time. below you will find a list of my most frequently played songs of the moment [many of them are guilty pleasure songs, you dont have to admit to liking them but i know you do] tina turner- missing you righteous brothers- youve lost that loving feeling beatles- all you need is love sharissa;wylcelf- take me as i am nat king cole- smile michael jackson- man in the mirror celine dion- oh holy night eve 6- here's to the night jimmy buffet- pina coladas so i think im losing my mind.. i have seriously been anti social today, well that and just busy.. tomorrow i get to go home for a day of no responsibility.. hmm.. yeeeeeaaaaa went for a run today, thats a shocker, its nice to be back to the familiar fatiqued feeling in my legs though, i miss soccer too much :( hole in my heart worked a lot and went to all my classes, i need to really buckle down and get a's on all my finals, if i start now its a realistic goal- ive just been sooooo lazy ok gonna get back down to business and power through my spanish exercises <3

(3 dances | sippy sippy) took my love and i took it down... [19 Nov 2003|10:04am] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | landslide ] so yea i havent updated in a few days, maybe its time listening to music.. this itunes thing is pretty cool.. dan moves today, i dono. yea thats all i will say about that. last night i got in a really bad mood. i was cross and bitchy and couldnt handle it. all i wanna do is crack skulls, well sleep and dream about cracking skulls cuz actually doing it is a lot of work.. f school i cant take it anymore. im burnt out.. slkdjaflksdjf get to go home on friday, and get a haircut and see my poor broken blother and all the old soccer girls, exciting.. wanna look nice though.. hmmm i need to do something 18, i havent been very productive in that really.. hmmm alright im gonna sleep/pretend to study bye kids

(1 dance | sippy sippy) meow [16 Nov 2003|04:09am] hellllooooooooooooooo live hournal. yea ethnice journal its 4 im a latebird like in kindergaerten sean and marcos are here maybe hen will microbvawave his burrriiiiitoooo bitchhhhhhhi need a bf badly.. fthisshit bro isaaaaccccs house ins nice im impressedaoraed hmmm i love midge, and my damn roommate andrifuceknaana yessss or as midge would say yeeeuhhhh im fucken tired tizired jasdlfkjadsf hahahhahaa vargas and her burger and nose comment and that one beat hoe.. this is a toast to all those beat hoes out there who just beatifie and nevah beautifie.. call me sistahhhh <33333

(1 dance | sippy sippy) yea weekend [14 Nov 2003|10:42am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | the movie.. ] it was brought to my attention that i havent updated here enough.. hmm probably im glad its the weekend, this week went by pretty fast.. for the rest of the day i just get to relax and watch movies and crochet [which murray hates haha] for now its american pie 2.. jim just superglued himself to himself haha i love it he looks like my high school teacher, yea mr stone apparently im not the most skilled of hermits because last night i was, as andriana put it, "party hermit" with a ton of people in the room for movies and wendys.. haha i dono how it happens dude american pie 2 is the first summer after college.. hmm.. i dono if i shouldstay here for summer school or what.. i dono how things will be at home, but i need a job (side note: stifler just said "thats a jizz-free ficus") yea i dont even know what im doing over winter break.. yea 7 weeks off hmmm i think im tired, and i dont really have much to say.. more later <3

(sippy sippy) i wish hen would cease to exist. perish, bitch. [09 Nov 2003|10:04pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | my own loud chewing :) ] ok so hmm where do i even start. perhaps by saying that i have the coolest roommate/big sis/mommy/whatever kara is everrrr... randomly wonderful times last night, weird. i hadnt been to a club beat affair in a while, and i had certainly missed out. midge doesnt think i write enough details in here to keep her interested so i'll mention outright that she is the coolest big sis ever and i am not letting myself feel tooooooo guilty about being out of control,i really should ease up though.. "slow down" aw i love these kids here its like, for a while i missed home so much i wouldnt let myself enjoy being here fully, and now that i have sort of accepted the change, i find that what i didnt even want to be a part of before is now a million times better than anything else ive experienced. and the beauty of it is that it doesnt at all subtract from my old happiness-feeling measures, its a whole new kind of wonderful yea so i guess im done being cheesy now.. by the by, i love kat and laura, i really missed them. hen is trying to sleep so im eating an apple.. muahaha

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]